we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
