i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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