margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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