We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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