i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
