Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize