fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
