Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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