That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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