But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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