i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
