office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
