we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
