return my video game
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
