and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
