i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
