Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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