is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
