What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
