Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
