i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
birth control should be required to get into college
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
