We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we made out on top of his cat.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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