When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
