i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
