I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
