Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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