question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
do herpes really smell.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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