those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
