She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My feet surprised me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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