Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
