note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
