My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just high enough for therapy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have post one night stand depression
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
