what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
