WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
