FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
