In the future we'll all be gay
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
