My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
