Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He better not be in your backpack
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My life is pants optional.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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