Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize