It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
