I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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