worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
where does the pee come out of this thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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