toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
