I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
