i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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