3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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