I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my shit smells like andre
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
