My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
PANTIES FOUND
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