just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
