I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
