you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
smell my finger.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
