I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
