just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
