Umm I'm too high to move.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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