the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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