Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
