Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's rum buckets o'clock
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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